Invited to dinner
A girl asks her boyfriend, to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announced to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the counter, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy: a 3-pack, 10-pack, or a family pack. "I'm really going to give it to this girl," the boy tells the pharmacist. "I intend to go for hours and hours." The pharmacist, with a laugh, suggests the family pack, saying the boy will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meet his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head down. 10 minutes passes and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend finally leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious. " The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!!"


Gassy Lady
Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them, but unfortunately they always gave her a very embarrassing, and somewhat lively reaction. When it became apparent that she and her boyfriend would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man but I don't think he can live with my problems." So she decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up beans.

A year later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country, she called her husband and told him she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she could walk off any ill effect by the time she reached home. So she stopped at the diner, and before she knew it she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted.

Upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her, exclaming delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her then led her to a chair at the table. Just as he was about to remove the blindfold the phone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold till he came back. Then he went to answer the phone.

The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted the weight to one leg, and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelt like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk coming froma pulp mill. She took a napkin out of her pocket and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cabbage cooking. Keeping her ears turned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signed the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with the napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contently to herself, she was the picture of innocence when her husband returned. Apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removes the blindfold to reveal twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a first Happy Anniversary!

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Ngee Ann Secondary School
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1r5'o9!

CHEN HUI
27may
guzheng

KELLY [chairwoman!]
18january
volleyball

SHI YUN
16 October
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19june
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19march
guzheng

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18june
basketball

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8october
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SU CHI
4october
girl guides

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17march
NPCC

SHU FANG [class artist!]
23september
chinese orchestra

SHERYL [ex-v.chairman!]
16june
guzheng

YU QIAN
29september
chinese orchestra

SYAHIRAH
2january


ISABEL
1april
tbasketball

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14june
chinese orchestra

TAN XIN YI
15september
guzheng

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16june
basketball

QI FENG [ex-treasurer!]
29march
chinese orchestra

YING JIA
26march
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JIA YING
21march
drama

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10june
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1january
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20june
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4febuary
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18november
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19january
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20febuary
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19january
track and field

HOONG LEE
15september
track and field

ZHENG JIE [ex-secretary!]
21febuary
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XIAO JIN
1july
chinese orchestra

HILMI
18may
multimedia club

SAIFUL
4december
NCC

SAUNDER
8july
NPCC

SAMUEL
2july
adventure sports

MARCUS
11august
multimedia club

WEI AN[ex-chairman!]
14march
NCC

VERNON
17june
mutlimedia club

JING HAO
24march
NPCC

FRANCOISE
28november
choir

HAI XING [ex-ex-chairman!]
5febuary
ncc




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English teacher Mdm Azrina
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History teacher Mdm Nora ???
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D&T teacher Mr Ong / Mr Chia
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